With all the recent news about the chances of a third “Bill & Ted” movie, you might have missed that the duo have been back in comic books for a few years now. After taking a look last time at the main story in 2015’s “Bill & Ted’s Most Triumphant Return”, it’s now time to have a look at the individual side stories that appeared in each of those six issues. The title for each story appeared on the inside of the main cover (along with information about the story’s creators), so as I did with Back to the Future’s “Untold Tales”, I’ll use those as the sub headers below.
BILL & TED AND THE BOGUS VIRUS
From issue one, written by Ryan North, illustrated by Ian McGinty. While chilling in the basement in 1991, the Bill & Ted robot doubles receive an email (Bill: “What’s an E-mail, robot dudes?”) from the future. Subject: Our Evil Robo Uncles in Nigeria died and left $100,000 of cool guitars to you. Bill & Ted suggest running the attachment, after which the robots no longer air guitar (Robot Bill instead demonstrates “Air-Filling-Out-Tax-Return”) and they act bogus.
Bill & Ted use the phone booth to travel to 2015, as they are “underqualified robot repair professionals” and have no means of contacting Station. They walk into a “Computer Zone”, completely baffling Erica, the poor woman who works there. Apparently instead of 1s and 0s, the software is written using Bills and Teds. (“These CPUs might as well be from Mars.”) As an alternative repair technique, Bill & Ted try challenging their doubles to a game.
Erica jumps in to help, and tricks the robots into removing their own viruses. She doesn’t charge Bill & Ted, instead giving them a pamphlet on email safety, and the group return to 1991. Lamenting that they don’t have the name of the uncle with the rad guitars.
MISSY PRESTON-LOGAN: PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR
From issue two, written by Chris Sims & Chad Bowers. Pencils by Brooke Allen, inks by Liz Fleming. Colonel Oats has dropped by, remarking on how Bill & Ted’s wives are normal girls, leading Missy to explain how she ended up marrying Ted’s father. After the divorce, she was studying for her professional psychics exam, and as such performed a summoning to talk to Einstein – the “Master of Modern Psychics”.
Einstein’s ghost appears, saying he knows about physics, not psychics. Missy is forced to cram by herself, telling Einstein she’ll research how to send him back later. Einstein watches Smokey and the Bandit on TV, Missy loses track of time, and when she races out of the house, Einstein asks to accompany her. They get stuck in traffic.
To help Missy get to her exam on time, Einstein possesses Missy’s body (recall the second Bill & Ted movie), running crazy mathematical calculations to stunt drive his way to the school. Cue a police chase, and a Bill & Ted cameo outside the Zyggie Piggy. Ted’s dad catches up to Missy as she arrives, is a bit taken aback to realize who it is, and Missy suggests they get coffee later. The rest is history!
BILL & TED IN IMPETUOUS REX
From issue three, written by Adam P. Knave & DJ Kirkbride, illustrated by Wook Jin Clark. Bill & Ted are escaping a baby dinosaur (the BC and AD buttons are “egregiously close, dude”), accidentally bringing it to America, 1903. After nearly messing with the Wright brothers’ first flight, they get the baby T-Rex to chase them back to the booth. Ted is forced to do some quick repair work.
Alas, the “1” button gets stuck, and they all end up in “the future’s future”. They now pursue the dino on thought controlled platforms, catching up as it’s becoming scared by all the weirdness. Bill plays a power ballad to soothe the baby dino, and they’re able to return it to the proper time. Only for them to get chased by the T-Rex’s mother.
BILL & TED SAVE BILL & TED
From issue four, written by Kurtis Wiebe, illustrated by Mad Rupert. Bill & Ted reminisce about their Junior High Battle of the Bands, revealing that they each prayed to the Gods of Rock the night before the competition, and were visited by one, who gave them a blessing.
Wanting to watch that moment, they travel back in time, running into Jeb Perkins, a classmate who always tried to kill their confidence. They confront him, and he recognizes them, freaked out by them looking old and running away. (Bill: “I’m egregiously bummed that we’re wearing the same accoutrements as our junior high selves.”) They get themselves some retro clothes instead.
At the allotted time, they watch for the Gods of Rock, don’t see them – and realize that THEY are the ones who gave themselves the confidence back then. After fulfilling their retro nighttime appearance, they stick around to watch the Battle, their younger selves doing well in part because Jeb Perkins dropped out.
RESEARCH PROJECT
From issue five, written by Christopher Hastings, illustrated and lettered by Matt Cummings. It’s Italy, the early 1300s, and we see a man in robes. Death shows up, saying “you will come with me”. The man comes willingly, makes small talk, and thanks Death for his escort to The Inferno. He then starts making notes.
After a time, the man returns to Death, saying “I’d like to come back to life now, please”. He beats Death at Go, and is seen emerging from a coffin. A bystander shouts, “Why does this keep happening, Dante?!” Cut to Bill & Ted in a classroom, explaining this is how Dante Alighieri was able to accurately portray hell. The teacher (who had invited them as guest speakers) protests, only to have Death himself drop by to vouch for the teenagers.
GOING MEDIEVAL
From issue six, written by Brian Jones, illustrated by Bachan. The princesses (Joanna and Elizabeth) are practicing their drumming and keyboarding by themselves, as well as reflecting on the adjustments to modern day life from the royal courts. Joanna in particular is uncertain as to their role in the band.
A phone booth arrives, bringing Meghan Deth and Sydney “Syd” Ro, two of Bill & Ted’s biggest fans. They play their guitars – and their hypno-shreds (subliminal sounds that can knock out a rock-saturated brain) put Bill & Ted to sleep. They now plan to insert themselves into the band, disposing of the princesses.
But rock music is new for Joanna and Elizabeth, so they were unaffected, leading to a “fierce drubbing”. They ultimately send the other two women off to become stranded in medieval times, which helps Joanna with her purpose – to protect the naive lambs that Bill & Ted are right now.
IN SUMMARY
It’s an interesting mix of stories, wouldn’t you say? The ones in the second and fifth issues had no direct time travel, their focus being more on Missy and Death – though Einstein and Death did have roles in the main storyline at that point. The sixth had a focus on Joanna and Elizabeth, except with a time travel element (and it’s probably my favourite). The fourth story read to me like typical predestined Bill & Ted fare, the first seemed to be a more modern take on the duo (perhaps my second favourite), and I felt as if the third had trouble finding its footing. The header image here, by the way, is from the main story in issue 2.
After this initial six issue run, the subsequent Bill & Ted series’ don’t have any additional side stories. For the record, at present those other series’ are the four issue set from 2016 (titled “Bill & Ted Go To Hell”) and the five issue set from 2017 (“Bill & Ted Save the Universe”). As the former doesn’t have time travel (except for recruiting reinforcements), it’s unlikely that I’ll go through it here on the Nexus. However, Bill & Ted’s 2017 run does play around a bit with time paradoxes, so keep an eye out for that in the future.
Overall, did you have a preferred side story out of this set? Do you feel like the comics are keeping with the mythology of the original movies? Was there a character you wished they’d included in these side stories, or one you wanted to see more of in the main story with DeNomolos? Thanks for reading, and please do let me know, if you have the time.
Latest posts by Gregory Taylor (see all)
- Drawing on Time - Jughead’s Time Police: Archie Forever - December 18, 2019
- Drawing on Time - BTTF: Tales from the Time Train - November 20, 2019
- Drawing on Time - Sandglass of Summer: Episode Two - October 18, 2019