Jughead’s Time Police: MiniSeries

December 19, 2018

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If you read my previous column, you’ll know that we’ve seen most of the lead-up to the “Jughead’s Time Police” miniseries already. (There was one additional story, it appeared in Jughead #14, from 1989, around the same time as “World of Jughead” #602… but I’ll save that for my third column on this topic. It doesn’t really follow the usual format, Jughead and January don’t even interact.) The miniseries itself ran for six issues, published over the span of a year (every two months), starting in July 1990.

Why were there only six issues? I don’t know, but I suspect it was the reception. Issue three includes an editorial by Scott Fulop, who says that even though reader response was fantastic for the “World of Jughead” stories, there had so far been no letters about the Time Police series. Which had rolled out four months earlier. Issue four did publish some letters, but then issue five did not.

It’s a shame, because the series definitely got better as time went on. At least, that’s what I think – let’s see if you agree, as we look back and analyze issues one through five.

SERIES BEGINNINGS

Issue one (with the story “A Yen for Spaghetti”) starts with exposition. Archie mentions a history test, and Jughead talks to himself about how he can time travel, thus could go back to witness events in person. Except no, as accidentally changing time would violate his oath to keep time on track. So he writes a personal vow instead: “The River of Time must forever flow! Why this should be, I do not know! All I can say is, it has always been so! To change but a day brings nothing but woe!”

By page three we’re already into the plot, Jughead waking up in Pickens’ Park, with Archie not recognizing him. January arrives from the 29th century, saying the fabric of time was ripped in the past, and Jughead’s family tree never took root. His existence is only protected by his special time beanie. They then travel to the future. At this point, we can see that the “one timeline” model is in place, with shades of “Back to the Future”. For instance, Biff changing 1955 in the second movie made a new 1985 before reaching 2015.

New technology is provided for the mission: A ring (time band) for communication within the time police (that never gets used?). A time spray, “filled with memory RNA of all ancient languages” (nice that they dealt subtly with the Chinese issue). And finally a hologram cloaking device to make them look asian (they’re going to Kubla Khan in the 13th century). Once there, they stay out of time synch to watch what happens, and long story short, Jughead (in thinking about his history test) travelled back while asleep, eating the noodles that were meant to be served to Marco Polo.

Jughead fixes his error by going forward and getting a new plate of spaghetti to serve (reasoning that someone else introduced the dish to Italy). Curiously, Jan says “changing time is easy, fixing it can be rather difficult”, which… shouldn’t that be the exact opposite? Otherwise, at that level of danger, why travel through time at all? Jughead also learns at the end of the issue that the future Time Police oath is his personal vow (uncovered by archaeologists). Oh, and he inadvertently writes his history test in Chinese.

HOT DOGGING

Issue two (“A Riverdale Jughead in King Arthur’s Court”) has January recruit Jughead to track down a rogue time police agent from their era, currently in England, 1275 AD. The rogue, one Morgan Le Fay, neutralizes their equipment upon arrival, attacks with a thunderbolt ring, and then uses a teleportation ring to escape… she’s using technology from the 34th century to best them. (Why aren’t the 34th century Time Police involved? We don’t know.)

January goes to consult with Merlin, the founder of the Time Police, who came to this time period to retire. Merlin also has future tech, including “excaliburite”. It converts water vapour into oxygen and hydrogen, creating a blazing flame. This proves useful when Morgan frees a Tyrannosaurus that wasn’t supposed to be thawed out until 2022; Jughead has a guy named Arthur drive the dinosaur away with a fiery sword.

In the end, Jughead catches Morgan by travelling to just before she left for the 13th century – and he then wonders if all Earth’s myths were once historical time disruptions that got cancelled out. Which is a clever solution, but it does beg the question of why the time police don’t do more of this? Like with the time thieves in the origin story? (To be fair, issue one had January warn about time rifts and reality cracks when you run into yourself.) By the way, Merlin is one of Jughead’s descendants.

Issue three (“To Beanie or Not To Beanie”) features Hot Dog, Jughead’s pet. Hot Dog actually came along on the previous mission (accidentally). This time, he steals Jughead’s time beanie, and travels to 1775, ancient Egypt, and prehistoric times (accidentally). Meanwhile, Jughead himself attends the yearly Interchronal Debate in the future. In the end, Hot Dog’s three trips somehow manage to prevent predicted time disturbances from becoming reality… so yay?

Jughead’s pet won’t appear again. (Hot Dog had his own series anyway. Yes, really.) The only real event of note from the third issue is new tech, in the form of a cloth patch of random molecules, which changes one’s appearance based on one’s thoughts. I will give added props for the idea of future “impartial observers” to the debate, who it was said can’t participate lest they change their present.

PEAK JUGHEAD

Now things get good. Issue four (“One Jughead Too Many”, whose cover was used as the banner for this column) starts with Jughead appearing in front of himself, saying he’s about to unleash the greatest time paradox in the history of the time police. He then gives himself a biology report (that he won’t have time to write) and says his past self must save Riverdale from “the big flood”. That’s all he can provide to avoid triggering a time disruption.

Jughead goes to January, who admits they found an article about said flood sealed in a jar. Jughead decides “since we can’t change history, we’ll fool history”, and the two of them time travel back to the 20th century. Jughead leaves an anonymous tip with the police about the dam leaking. He then uses the school newspaper to create the article about the flood, seals it in a jar from his house, and buries it for the future scientists to find. As such, the dam is repaired, and life goes on.

The whole story is really clever. January McAndrews even encounters Archie, Betty and Reggie, which is good for a laugh, plus we see Jughead’s parents. Oh, and Jughead types up an original biology report (albeit based on a photocopy, not research), rather than having the paper lack an origin. When he brings back in time, ending the issue the same way it began.

Issue five (“Will the Real Colonel Pickens Please Stand Up”) has Jughead looking into the Battle of Pickens Park, from the civil war. He sees himself in a photo, and thus goes back to rescue himself – ending up captured, and in the very daguerrotype image he saw. This disruption registers with the Time Police, and January seeks answers… from “Grandpa Jones”. Apparently, after Jughead retires from the time police, he’ll leave a clone in hibernation for emergencies like this.

Grandpa remembers how he was rescued – it was Colonel Pickens. The twist being Grandpa now assumes the guise of Colonel Pickens, travelling back to rescue himself much like his teenaged self did. This solves the mystery of how the North won that battle, as Grandpa Jones had future knowledge of the troop deployments. Meanwhile, Abraham Lincoln is also in Riverdale (off the record), and as Pickens handles the battle, teenage Jughead helps get the President to safety.

While the clone angle was a bit over the top, it turned out to be another fun twist on predestiny. Oh, and another random tidbit of information? The Watchtower, the headquarters of the Time Police, is built on the site of Pop Tate’s Chok’lit shop. I can’t resist passing on some of the little details dropped into this series, they’re quite fun.

IN SUMMARY

As I said above, I feel like the series started off rocky. Tom “he is an evil genius” White even takes some stabs at the first issues, including the one page ads for the time police that I didn’t mention above. That said, even early on the writers paid attention to detail (like the Chinese language issue), and it tried to be temporally consistent within itself. By issue four it was finding it’s footing, allowing January to spend some time in the present, while the “juggling probabilities” angle didn’t need to pull in historical figures to tell a good time travel story.

In terms of the Time Police organization itself, some of the links to Jughead in the present got a bit far fetched, like the oath, which is quoted in almost every issue. That said, it’s balanced off with fun Easter Eggs, like the idea that Merlin’s last name is Jones. (Or maybe you think that’s silly, while the oath was clever? Your mileage may vary.) January, as the other protagonist, proves to be an interesting character, and while at times she comes across as more of a love interest, her attitude towards her boss (and Reggie) show her to be capable in her own right.

Issue 5 ends with a teaser that the one year anniversary issue will reveal the secret origin of Jughead’s time beanie. But we’ll cover that, along with all the tangential stories about Jughead and the Time Police, in my next column. While you’re waiting, perhaps you have some thoughts on the beanie’s origin? Or might you remember reading these comics back when they first came out? How about the concept of a Time Police organization, do you have any opinions there? Thanks for reading, and please do let me know your opinion, if you have the time.