tales of SILVER AGE TIME TRAVEL travel back to STRANGE TALES #134 (JUL 1965)
—When my GRANDPA MAIN returned to December 1964 from the early 1980s, the second thing* he said to me was: “When I track you down in 1981, I’m going to ask you to name the absolute worst time travel comic of all time. So now listen carefully, Mike! I want you to say anything at all except don’t you dare say ‘Strange Tales 134’!”
* please see last month’s blog to see the first thing he said
When I heard that directive, I immediately realized two things:
- Strange Tales 129 had just appeared on the stands, so 134 was still five months in the future.
- Strange Tales 134 was gonna have some time travel! Probably another lame bit of time travel with DOC STRANGE rewinding the clock to undo some mistake, like he did in #129.
But Just What Was Grandpa Telling Me?
Was Grandpa telling me that the time travel in #134 was not going to be lame? Is that why he wanted me to name something else? Was he implying that Doc Strange was going to have a terrific time travel adventure, one that would more than make up for his pitiful use of time travel up to now? Or perhaps it would be the other featured characters in Strange Tales, the TORCH and the THING, who would have the time travel adventure to end all time travel adventures.
No, no, no. I quickly realized that was all wrong. He was saying nothing at all about the quality of the yet-to-be-published Strange Tales 134. His goal was clearly more important than anything to do with #134! You see, back when he was in 1981, he must have asked me to name-that-comic, and I must have said Strange Tales 134. He was giving me that information now, so that 17 years later I would already know what I had said, and perhaps—just perhaps—I would choose to say something else and thereby change the timeline.
That possibility fit in with the idea that his returning to 1964 and talking to me now created a new timeline, one where I could choose to do things differently. Just remember, I thought to myself, choose wisely and responsibly. Maybe Grandpa had knowledge of other future events—important and potentially disastrous events—that I could also exert my will to change.
Then again, maybe 1981 would arrive and I’d be doing some grown-up thing—perhaps flying my flying car or eating as many Fritos as I wanted—and Grandpa will show up and ask me to name the absolute worst Marvel time travel comic of the 1960s, and without even landing or putting down the bag of Fritos, I’ll say, “Strange Tales 134,” because obviously that’s what I did say, so how could I possibly say anything else?
It would have been nice had Time-Traveling Grandpa up in 1981 asked Future Mike whether he remembered this particular 1964 conversation, but alas, Grandpa told me that immediately after hearing my answer, he was involuntarily and unceremoniously dragged back to 1964. But still, I had 1981 to look forward to, and after my answer, I’d have a good idea whether free will and a branching-time universe really existed. I was pretty sure of the answer, too, given that I had no intention of being caught unaware with nothing but a bag of Fritos in 1981. Yep, you could bet your Uncle Bob’s root beer that I was gonna be ready with a snappy answer** that wasn’t gonna be Strange Tales 134.
** Stop right now! Do not jump ahead to the end of this blog to find out my snappy answer!
But Just How Bad Could It Be?
In the meantime, though, I had one other thing to look forward to: Strange Tales 134, coming in the spring of 1965 to a newsstand near me! And indeed, later that spring when IRVING, my trusty soda-fountain jerk, handed me that issue, I was immediately floored by the terrific JACK KIRBY cover. Surprisingly, it was Johnny (the Torch) and Ben (the Thing)—not Doc Strange—who were traveling back through time, apparently to the middle ages. The story inside was drawn by BOB POWELL and WALLY WOOD rather than Kirby, but even so, how could it possibly be the worst time travel comic of all time? Look! It even had my second-most favorite Marvel character, the nearly omniscient WATCHER!
Man-oh-man! I really had to learn how to talk like the Watcher! Let your activities cease! I bring you a challenge . . . from another galaxy!! The challenge, in essence, was to travel back to Arthurian times and stop the time-traveling KANG from doing what he does best: taking over the world and thereby destroying the twentieth century as we know it!
Am I Being Stupid?
Okay, so am I being stupid, or <blasphemy>is the Watcher being stupid?</blasphemy> If he really wanted the whole of the FF to take on the Kang challenge, couldn’t he just wait until SUE and REED (or at least Sue, who’s likely to be more sensible in most challenges) got back? What’s the rush? He has power over all space and time!
And what about Kang? Is he being stupid? If he takes over Camelot, thereby changing the entire future, isn’t it likely that he’ll also never be born and thereby not come back to take over Camelot? I thought about that possibility and realized that Kang himself must believe in a universe of branching timelines, because if he thought there was but one timeline, then he’d know from looking around his own time and reading history that he hadn’t ever taken over Camelot. In that case, all his trip would accomplish is to give Johnny and Ben a fun trip back in time to thwart Kang’s plan of world domination. Moreover, it seems that even the Watcher himself is tacitly admitting to multiple timelines when he relates this warning to Johnny and Ben:
Yes, says our favorite egghead, the past can be changed in the Marvel universe. And it seems like he’s in the present, yet watching the past with some urgency. Somehow, if Johnny and Ben don’t depart for the past right now, it’s going to be too late to save the present! Really? We’re back to that question again?. I wish that STAN LEE had spent more time with that idea instead of just telling us how Kang did indeed conquer Camelot and then seemingly become bored (that happens a lot to conquerors) before setting his sights on bigger fish:
Doesn’t that expression on Kang’s face tell it all? Well, almost all. It still doesn’t tell us why the Watcher is in such a hurry:
So, what do you think? Why would a time traveler ever be in a hurry? Are rushed time travelers more likely to occur in a world with many timelines or with just one deterministic timeline? And what about the Watcher? He presents himself as having this vision of all of space and time laid out before him as if it were a single tapestry. He can focus his attention on various parts of tapestry, watching it unfold. But he’s also living outside of the tapestry’s time. And that tapestry? It seems to be both a single history of everything, and it’s able to be reweaved as the Watcher watches from outside time. Or at least from outside the tapestry’s time. Now, there’s an idea: There is only one timeline, which the Watchers view as a whole from their hypertime, and that one timeline is continually being erased and rewritten. And maybe there is some urgency within hypertime, because once an erasure and rewriting of the observed timeline has progressed to far from their hyper-viewpoint, it cannot be undone.
Holy melting frammistat! Maybe Strange Tales 134 was the best time travel comic ever. I wish I could ask Stan now what he had in mind.
During the subsequent 17 years, I’d thought the problem through quite a bit, particularly with regard to the hyper-continually rewritten tapestry of time. Grandpa did tell me about a few things that he thought should be changed (bell-bottomed pants, for one), but he wasn’t in the future long enough to learn any of its history.
More than once, I wondered why I’d apparently singled out Strange Tales 134 as the worst time travel comic ever, and I came to one possible answer. Isn’t it possible that on a previously*** written version of the tapestry I had named the actual worst time travel comic (obviously not Strange Tales 134)? And then, when Grandpa when back in time, he had asked me to name anything except that comic. Being the contrarian that I was, I’d then decided to name the best time travel comic? If that were the case, then what would happen if I now went back to naming the real worst comic . . .
** previously in hypertime, that is
1981
Grandpa: “Mike, quick! What’s the worst time travel comic ever?”
Mike [throttling back the car jets and munching down another frito]: Ironed Man versus Magnut, Robot Biter.
1981
Grandpa: “Mike, quick! What’s the worst time travel comic ever?”
Mike [throttling back the car jets and munching down another frito]: Strange Tales 134.
1981
Grandpa: “Mike, quick! What’s the worst time travel comic ever?”
Mike [throttling back the car jets and munching down another frito]: Ironed Man versus Magnut, Robot Biter.
1981
Grandpa: “Mike, quick! What’s the worst time travel comic ever?”
Mike [throttling back the car jets and munching down another frito]: Strange Tales 134.
Coming Soon!
Yes, Ironed Man and Magnut Robot Biter will show up in Silver Age Time Travel, but not until another six episodes or so. Meanwhile, we’ve got a unique story coming up next month. Perhaps the story even explains exactly where Reed and Sue were when the Watcher showed up looking for them. I’d be delighted if you head back here on the first Wednesday of February and see for yourself! Make mine Marvel!
Coming Soon! The once-in-a-timeline event you’ve been waiting for! The wedding of SUE and REED featuring the world’s most colossal colleciton of costumed characters from the SILVER AGE of MARVEL COMICS! TORCH! Don’t miss it on the first Wednesday of February!
cover of strange tales 134 by jack kirby and frank giacoia, ©1965 marvel comics group. interior images by bob powell and wally wood. ellipsis mug from gramaticalart.com.